Want to Shape Employees Behavior? Positive Leadership

Be a Positive Leader and Shape Employees Behavior

Several months ago after returning from a week long and grueling business trip I came home to the following sticky note from my eight year old son placed carefully square smack in the center of my monitor. "Dad is the best. From Jacob." I left it there for several months. Why? Because it made me feel great! Am I the best? Well, maybe not always, but in his eyes I was. His note really made me want to be.

We can shape employee behavior so much quicker by being positive than we can by being negative. It is a special thing to feel appreciated as a dad, as an employee, as a leader! Feeling that someone values us and really thinks we are kind of neat lifts us up - it is inspiring. One simple positive kind comment, one plain sticky note with an encouraging comment or one thoughtful voice-mail can make someones entire day, maybe even week! It is amazing the affect we can have on others lives by just being a little more caring, a little more considerate, and a little more attentive.

I challenge each of us positive leaders this year to lift others up. Make it a habit!

I would love to hear any stories of someone in your life that lifts you and why. What can we learn from others and their example? Please comment below. Thanks.

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Post by Mike Rogers of Teamwork and Leadership
Mike is an author, trainer and speaker and a grateful husband and father of eight children. He is passionate about seeing people succeed.

Comments

[Rick Maurer]

You sticky note story reminded of when I attempted to learn to Telemark (it is a technique that allows cross-country skiers to sort of replicate the downhill moves of "real" skiers.)

When I saw that the cross country center taught lessons, I signed up for the next morning. And then I had a sleepless night. I wasn't a skier. I was getting older. I'll make a fool out of myself. And the list of things that kept me awake kept getting longer.

Morning came and I drove over to the ski center. I was told my teacher's name was Chip. So I immediately pictured a rugged Olympian who had no time for beginners. That didn't help.

It turns out he was a really nice guy and a fine teacher. For instance, he gave clear performance feedback. His performance coaching would make ASTD members drool with envy.

Whenever he wanted to give me feedback, he's ski over to where I was lying down and tell me what I had done wrong.

But the first time I did it right, he yelled out, "Yea." I wanted more "yeas." And as the morning went on i started getting more yeas. I felt great and my skiing improved. That was my sticky.

[Mike Brown]

Mike,

I can see why you saved it - I would have too.

Great point about being positive. My philosophy is make sure you say something positive to every person on your team - at least once a week. If you can't think of something positive to say - maybe that person shouldn't be on your team.

Mike

[Ashwin Baindur]

Mike, you've given an example of a follower showing appreciation to and motivating a leader. I assume you reciprocated as well, not just with Jacob but your significant other as well :) In a business, this appreciation can go three-ways : leader -> follower, follower -> leader, and follower -> follower. Anyone could start but the leader should ensure the flow remains continuous.

[Scott Span]

Great point and nice correlation from personal to professional life. I've actually used a similar post it note exercise on several occasions with clients. I encouraged them to think of 3 positive thoughts about their colleagues (Appreciative Inquiry- AI approach), jot them on the post it notes, and stick them on the desks of colleagues. Not only did it increase communication, but also morale and engagement.

[Mike Rogers]

Thanks Ashwin and Scott! I like the flow Ashwin and would agree that it is the leader's job to help it continue. It would be amazing to see an organization completely in this flow all three ways. But how do they start? How do you change the culture to make it happen on a regular basis? The first idea I am sure is to start with the leader, but then how does the leader make it happen all around her or him? And I would love to see more follower to leader flow, I think many times that is overlooked, but very important.

Scott, I have done a similar exercise in my workshops, but I have them write it on the back of others on the team in the workshop. Very powerful! Thanks for sharing.

[Mike Rogers]

Excellent sticky Rick. Thanks for sharing the story. Your behavior was shaped by your instructor based on excellent feedback, and it didn't need to be all good... just needed to be done well. Excellent example.

Mike, interesting points and thank you! The key is to think about being positive and really trying to see the good in others. I would agree, if you can't find something positive about someone on your team, then you might want to evaluate their value. But I would take it a step further, even if you can say positive things about everyone on your team, you will still want to evaluate the types of positive things you are finding. If you can't find big positive things that they do to contribute to the good of the team you will want to evaluate their value.

Mike

[Faan Smith]

Hi Mike, we may not always be aware of it - but if you're a leader, you're always been closely watched by subordinates. If we want to influence people, we probably have to answer three questions: (1) 'What are my values and what do I expect of myself as a leader'? (2) 'What is the difference I'd like to make and how do I wish others to perceive/ experience me'? (3) 'What do I need to continue doing, doing differently, start doing, or stop doing to make that happen'? And, if we're really authentic (and be prepared to look in the mirror) and have the passion to proceed we will probably have plenty of notes, stickers, and 'thank you's' to humble us and remind us that we're doing something right. All the best. Faan

[Mike Rogers]

Thanks Faan. Excellent comments. I really like your focus on the need for leaders to get feedback. First they should ask themselves all of these questions and then they ought to ask others. Hopefully that will result in feedback once we have continued to improve that will help validate if we are on track. Unfortunately it will require many times patience on the leaders part.

Mike

[Barry Jackson]

I think all of us in a group like this are going to agree on points like these.The problem is the guys who don't! The ones who still believe that people respond best when you threaten to kick the daylights out of them. Getting through to the dinosaurs is the real challenge, and there are so many of them. You know sometimes I think the only thing that's ever going to impact these people is a meteorite! Well, I don't have a meteorite but I do have an approach which I find hits these people smack between the eyes.It begins with a story (it can be a made up story as long as it's believable). I tell a story of young child being spoken to abusively by a school teacher and I ask the audience to tell me how they feel the parent of the child should handle the situation. The response is always the same, "If it was my child, I'd be straight down to complain." Now it's time to hit them with the question. "Okay, but if it's never right to talk to child that way, at what age does it suddenly become okay to talk down to people. At what age does a person no longer respond to that thing called encouragement?" I've yet to meet anyone who has an effective come back to this; but I'd welcome the thoughts of the group.

[Mike Rogers]

I appreciate all of the comments so far, wonderful discussion. Love the story and question Barry. I am going to use it! I would bet that most of those who lead by fear, don't like to be led by fear themselves. They want to be treated with respect too, we all do.

Mike