I have to admit that it might be a silly pet peeve of mine, but I don’t like to be addressed by “hey.” Or “How are you?” instead of “How are you Mike?”
This can happen for a number of reasons. Maybe they forgot my name. Or possibly they are not sure how to address me given several formal titles I have had in the past. But I have a feeling it is just simply easier for some not to take the time to remember.
Is it important for a leader to address someone by their name? I say of course it is! Think of how you feel when someone you look up to remembers your name. What if your CEO or other senior leader remembered your name when passing you in the hall? It feels good when people remember who we are.
I would suggest if you aren’t comfortable, for whatever reason, in addressing others by their name, then get comfortable. Start by addressing your friends by their names and work from there.
If you have a difficult time remembering names, then here are a few tips that are helpful, and have worked for me.
1. Really Listen. Often times we don’t remember names because we don’t care enough to listen.
2. Verify and Repeat. “Do you like to be called Pam or Pamela?” Or “Do you prefer Dr. Morris or Ted?” Ask how people like to be addressed and then repeat it in your head several times.
3. Imagine it. Picture the name of the person you are talking to on their forehead. It really works!
4. Word Associate it. This is one of my favorites. Simply associate the person’s name with someone you know with the same name, an object, an animal, a place, a thing or whatever else will help you remember their name. I have found that the sillier the word association the better.
5. Frequently Use The Name. Another one of my favorites is to use the person’s name in the conversation as much as is reasonably possible.
From time to time you might get someone’s name wrong. That’s okay, it happens. It’s happened to me a number of times. The benefits are bigger than the risks. I would rather come across as a leader who cares, is interested and connected than someone who is distant, not connected, aloof, non-caring and maybe even rude.
It might seem like a minor thing on the surface, but remembering someone’s name can make a big difference.
Do you feel it is important to address someone by their name? Why or why not? Do you have any additional tips that are helpful in remembering others names?
If you enjoyed this post and would like to share it with your team, colleagues or anyone else, please “Share” it, “Tweet” it, “LinkedIn” it, “Email” it, “Google Plus” it, or “Like” it, by using one of the buttons below. Thanks friends!
Couldn’t agree more. It’ really important and difficult in many cases. Senior leaders who have large organizations often struggle with this. An employee is almost always pleased and maybe, to some degree, more fulfilled when her name is used by a senior manager. Good hints.
Absolutely Mike! You’ve covered everything that I do. These tips are not just for leaders/managers/people in charge – they’re also great to practice in social situations!
A good leader must follow all the information given in the article. If boss call the subordinate by name he feel very happy & motivated.
“An employee is almost always pleased and maybe, to some degree, more fulfilled when her name is used by a senior manager.”
Speaking personally, I find that to be incorrect. My bosses take great pains to call me by my name, so much so I feel like Glenda Jackson in “Shakespeare In Love” where she says “Take care when you use my name, lest you wear it out”.
I’m not their best friend, I’m an employee. I don’t want managers to pretend to be my friend, because no matter how wonderful they say I may be this week, an error next week will get me into the bad books. That is never in any doubt.
Yes, “Hey you” is bad, but I know of no manager who would address anyone in that way. And certainly just calling me by my first name is not going to make me feel “fulfilled”.
Thanks Steve, Jason and Sanjay for your comments!
We all like to be called by our names, and the best leaders know that.
Mike
Colin, I don’t think any leader in a work setting should be the “best friend” of anyone they lead. And managers should not pretend anything.
You would be surprised at the number of managers who avoid calling someone by their name. A manager, and anyone for that matter, who takes the time to address someone by their name does help an employee feel more valued.
I can’t speak to your experience and the overdoing of your name, but my experience and the experience of others who have commented is that it does make a difference.
interesting info….thanks for sharing !!!