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Is it me? The Question We Should All Ask More…

ask is it me teammates taking responsibility

In a recent virtual workshop I did for an organization, I encouraged everyone to ask themselves the question, “Is it me?”

It’s an accountability question. It’s a look inward and do your part kind of question. It’s the kind of question that builds relationships and improves performance. 

As part of my workshops I always ask participants to complete an assessment that puts this question, “Is it me?,” squarely on the shoulders of each of them.

The assessment includes a scale – three being most of the time, two being some of the time and one being rarely – for each question. I have included below a small portion of that assessment around the principle of selflessness so that you can get an idea of the types of questions asked (you can see the full assessment in“You Are the Team – 6 Simple Ways Teammates Can Go from Good to Great.”)

I Selfless 

1. I find opportunities to help and serve others on my team.

2. I actively look for ways to help others on my team shine.

3. I think about my teammates’ needs.

4. I put the team’s needs ahead of my own aspirations and recognition.

By answering each question, teammates begin to understand their personal role in helping the team succeed. 

The assessment came about as a result of a highly dysfunctional leadership team I had done some consulting work for, about five years ago.

As part of that work with this team, I interviewed each of them and found a strong common theme – no one would take personal responsibility. Each team member pointed fingers and put the blame for the team’s dysfunction on everyone else. 

Team members had failed to look inwardly and ask, “Is it me?”

However, I knew that each of them had some portion of the responsibility for the decaying relationships and resulting lack of team collaboration. 

I created and administered the assessment talked about above as a result and then something magical happened. Members of that team were forced to look inwardly and see their responsibility in the team dysfunction. Positive changes begin to take place immediately and the team hasn’t been the same since. That assessment became the basis of my first book!

Next time you get the urge to point a finger, say an unkind thing or make a quick judgement, ask, “Is it me?” We all benefit from your honesty!

 

The Greatest Leaders Do This – Super Inspiring Leadership Video

The Greatest Leaders Care. Become a Care to Lead Leader.

If service is above you, leadership is beyond you.

I wrote in a recent post the need for leaders to connect during these trying times. People are looking to leadership to help guide them through hard things. They are watching them, listening to them and are hopefully inspired them.

Leaders who have successfully led people through adversity are some of the greatest leaders we have ever had. History books are filled with them, documentaries are the subject of many of them and a lot of people have tried to pattern their lives after them.

One thing most of these successful leaders had was a selfless heart. They were more concerned about others needs than they were about their own.

In my recent book, Do You Care to Lead – A 5-Part Formula for Creating Loyal and Results-Focused Teams and Organizations, I call for all leaders to to be more selfless and serve more. There is no quicker way to unlock your leadership than through service. It’s the ultimate connector, motivator, and communicator. Nothing says you care more than when you serve. I call such leaders: Care to Lead Leaders.

Care to Lead Leaders are a unique breed of truly selfless, thoughtful, and caring leaders. Leadership is not about them; it was never about them. It is about the people whom they lead and work with, and whom they deeply care about.

Mark Macy, an author, consultant and friend of mine shared the following video with me recently. It completely exemplifies what service looks like in leadership and what Care to Lead Leaders naturally do.

This is one of those videos that will change you forever as a leader. Are you this kind of leader? What might you change going forward to become a Care to Lead Leader?

Note: If you have stories, video etc. of Care to Lead Leaders like this one, I would love for you to share them. Send me a note at mike@teamworkleadership.com Thanks! And enjoy 🙂

 

Connection – Leading Your Team Through Trying Times

Connecting with those you lead – 4 tips

Note: This is the second in a series of posts in moving your team through difficult things. I wrote as our world is in the midst of a virus (COVID-19) that is changing everything. Leadership has never been more important. See the last post and first in the series – “Gratitude – Leading Your Team Through Trying Times.”

Connection

If you can’t connect with people, you can’t lead people.

Leading your team through trying times requires that you focus on connecting with people individually and collectively. Connection is at the heart of what leaders do. Trust and loyalty are dependent on your ability to do it well.

Here are four specific things you must do to keep that important connection with your people.

1. Smile, be kind and provide hope. Okay, I know this seems simple, but I put it first in this list for a reason 🙂

People look at leaders in uncertain times for signs that everything will be okay. This doesn’t mean that you aren’t transparent – because transparency is an important key to trust – but it does mean that you smile, are kind and provide hope.

Leaders who can weather storms with a smile, kindness and hope, become an endearing beacon to their teams and organizations that never loses its light.

2. Use their name. I continue to be amazed at the number of people, including many leaders and people I know personally, who fail to use a person’s name when they talk.

Not using someone’s name already disconnects you from them before you have the chance to connect.

Dale Carnegie once said, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person, the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” That being the case, why wouldn’t you use the sweetest and most important sound in any language in your conversation with others?

Think for a minute the times someone used your name and the times someone didn’t. Did it feel different? Of course it did. Take the time to remember names, it’s worth every bit of effort in your existing relationships, as well as those you are trying to establish.

3. Listen. Next to hearing their name, those you lead want to feel they are heard. During times of adversity and uncertainty what you are listening for most on a personal basis is what people are feeling.

Asking sincere questions about how they are feeling and then intently listening will create strong connections with you as their leader. Sometimes they just want to talk, other times they want to hear your thoughts – but listening well enough to know what they need is your responsibility and gift to them.

4. Be vulnerable. We connect best with those who are willing to share. What used to be seen as a weakness in leadership; vulnerability is being seen more and more as a strength of leaders.

You ability to say things like, “You know, I struggled with that at one time as well.” Or, “Can you help me with this?” allows those you lead to see you as human. And since connection is built on our humanness, what could be more important than opening up.

Watch the following short video around research on “being human” and believable.

 

Gratitude – Leading Your Team Through Trying Times

Gratitude Changes Everything in your Leadership

Difficult times require extraordinary leadership. Leaders across the world are having to step up in ways that they have never imagined before.

Putting care into the front seat of your leadership has never been more important than it is now. Those you lead need to know that you still care about them and are there for them.

In the next couple of weeks, I will be sharing with you specific things you can start doing now to help you and those you lead to weather the many storms in front and ahead of all of us.

Today, we start with the principle of gratitude. Feel free to share and forward this to anyone you feel could use this in their life today.

Never forget that every storm eventually ends with rainbows and plenty of sunshine for all to enjoy.

Gratitude

With so much uncertainty, many of us naturally choose to focus on everything that is going wrong instead of the things that are going right. It’s kind of human nature isn’t it? But doing so leaves us feeling more fearful, panicky and anxious.

Thankfulness has a way of helping us forget the negative and focus and feel more of the positive. Gratitude leaves us feeling happier and more confident instead of anxious and fearful. It provides a sense of purpose and hope, which is something that comes into question during difficult times like we are experiencing now. Gratitude could be the key to your leadership in the coming days and the key to your team successfully moving forward.

Here are four tips for bringing more gratitude into your life and the lives of those you lead. I would recommend you share these at your next meeting – in person or virtually. Let me know how it goes. I would also recommend you start telling those you lead how grateful you are for them 🙂

1. Count blessings at bedtime. Instead of counting sheep, count blessings. The blessings of life, family, friends, pets, co-workers, homes, leaders and all of the people who do things to keep you happy, safe and productive. It’s a peaceful way to fall asleep because it has a tendency to drown out worries and negative thoughts. As a result, you fall asleep quicker and stay asleep longer, helping you feel more restful later.

2. Take a gratitude walk. Nature has a calming way. As you walk, only focus on gratitude. Notice life around you in nature and everything that makes you happy. You can also take a break from work and do a gratitude walk around your office and simply think about the people you are grateful for. Or, if you are working virtually, pause and think about each person on your team who does so much for you.

3. Create a gratitude board. Create a board and put pictures of things you are grateful for; including family, those who lead you and those you lead. Also add quotes and positive sayings around gratitude to your board. Refer to the board often.

4. Take a moment to reflect. At the start of each day think of 5 to 10 things you are grateful for. Close your eyes and picture them in your mind and feel the feelings in your body for each of them. Pay attention as you become happier and more at peace. It’s a great way to kick off every day!

Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow. ~Melody Beattie

 

There is Something Dangerous Lurking on Your Team…

There is Something Dangerous Lurking on Your Team… post image

Are you aware that something could be lurking on your team that is highly dangerous? Something that sucks the energy of your team and is probably dragging down the morale of everyone?

There is a good chance that you don’t even know what it is, but your team does. 

Employees usually fall into one of five categories… 

Every team has its share of rock stars (those employees that you wish you had more of) and rising stars (rock stars who simply lack experience). Your team most likely also has many steady stars (meet expectations, but don’t usually exceed expectations) and falling stars (those you wish would just quit due to their consistent poor performance).

But there is one star that leaders give very little attention to and this star will drag and let your team down every time – they are Deceiving Stars.

Deceiving stars are those stars that appear to be rock stars, but are really falling stars in rock star clothing.  

This group of stars gets things done, but it is usually at the expense of relationships, team morale, and ultimately teamwork. Some leaders can be deceived by this group of stars and often consider them rock stars, instead of bottom stars. But beware! They are really bottom-tier falling stars, not rock stars.

In a wonderful Ted Talk titled “Forget the Pecking Order at Work,” Margaret Heffernan, an entrepreneur and author, refers to what I am calling deceiving stars as super chickens.

She shares an interesting experiment done by William Muir, an evolutionary biologist at Purdue University who was interested in productivity.

Muir chose to use chickens in his productivity experiment for one simple reason—you can easily measure a chicken’s productivity by counting their eggs. His goal was to find out what factors could make one group of chickens more productive over another.

He broke his chickens into two groups. The first flock he selected were average chickens. He left this first flock alone for six generations. The second flock he chose only the best—this is the flock Heffernan called super chickens. And each successive generation he would continue to select only the best of the best of these super chickens for breeding, in hopes of creating what you might call super, super chickens.

After six generations with both flocks he found something very intriguing. The first flock of average chickens did just fine. They seemed happy, plump, had lots of feathers, and their egg production had increased dramatically.

What about the second flock? All but three of the super chickens were dead. Those three had pecked the others to death! These super chickens had only achieved their success and survived by suppressing the productivity of the rest.

They were strong egg producers and performers, but at the expense of the rest of the flock or team.

These are the rock stars on your team (high performers) who are really falling stars in super star clothing. And although they may initially be viewed as rock stars, over time they wear everyone out, including leaders. Their only focus is on themselves and they do everything they can to put themselves in the spotlight.

Hoarding information, taking all of the credit, or failing to pitch in when someone needs help are just a few of some of the unhealthy behaviors of deceiving stars.

Unfortunately, leaders often fail to do anything with these super chickens because they get so much done. But there is a problem, and it is a big, big problem. Treating deceiving stars as rock stars will begin to alienate your people, diminish team trust, lessen communication, and cause a whole host of relationship problems that will ultimately slow down your team. Selfishness on teams tends to do that.

What do you do about deceiving stars? I go into much more detail around each of the stars, including deceiving stars in my new book, Do You Care to Lead? A 5-Part Formula for Creating Loyal and Results-Focused Teams and Organizations It is available everywhere books are sold including Amazon and Barnes and Noble.