My wife has always had a way of making me feel good. She will often say things like, “You are handsome,” or “You are a good dad.”
Simple, yes. Impactful, yes! I know I’m not the most handsome guy on the block, but she thinks I am. As long as I feel she thinks I am, then I am!
Have you ever been around someone who wasn’t so positive? Have you ever been around someone who belittled their spouse either privately or with him or her there? How did it make you feel?
You weren’t even the one they were belittling, and I would venture to say that it made you feel uneasy and possibly a little down.
Here are three specific reasons why speaking positive about your spouse affects your ability to lead.
1. Your leadership trust depends on it. Whether as a leader in your home, or a leader at work, being negative and not speaking well of your spouse does affect your ability to lead. I once had a boss who consistently spoke positive of his wife. When on the phone with her, I could tell he loved her by the way he tenderly spoke. Did I have greater trust for this leader? Absolutely!If this leader had consistently put her down would I have had the same level of trust? Absolutely not!
2. People respond to positive. Because my wife makes me feel handsome, I want to do my best to look handsome. You won’t find me in “grubbies” very often, or not combing my hair. I want to look my best because that’s how she makes me feel.Likewise, leaders who are positive at home, have an easier time being positive in other areas of life. The leader who I mentioned above who is positive with his wife, was also very positive with those he led. No surprise there, right?
3. You become an example. As you are positive with your spouse, others you lead will have a desire to do the same. In other words, those you lead will want to follow your example. Is that not leadership in its most basic form?Because of your example, you are going to make the world a better place. And happier marriages result in a stronger workforce. We have all seen the person who is struggling at home; struggle at work. It affects their performance and to some degree others around them.
I had the blessing about nine years ago to serve as the leader of a church congregation of about 800 members and then another time with a congregation of about 500. I worked with a lot of married couples who were struggling and on the verge of divorce.
I found that marriages based on positive affirmations are strong. How can they not be? It has also been my experience that happy marriages lead to happier children. Happier children lead to a better world.
Leadership always starts in the home. The happier we are in our marriages and families, the more effective we become in all areas of our life. The trick is being positive with each other.
How has a healthy marriage affected your ability to lead? Please comment below. Let’s discuss.
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