My wife has a lot of people who would consider her their best friend. It has always amazed me at her ability to attract people to her. She is one of the most well liked people I know. So what’s her secret?
Do you know how to be more liked? In 25 years of marriage I have learned some things from her. As a leader we would all be wise to practice the art of being more liked.
Now, I can hear you saying, “Mike, leaders don’t have to be liked to be effective.” To that I say, the more likable you are and the more you understand how to be more liked, the better leader you will be.
Obviously not everyone is going to like you and not everyone is going to like you all the time. But by practicing the three tips below, you will be more likable. Being more likable is a much better place to be as a leader, than not.
1. Be genuinely interested in others. Listen more than you talk. Remember that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason.
Most people usually love to talk about their favorite subject – themselves. But in my wife’s case she really wants to know how others are doing, what they are involved in, how their vacation was, how the dance recital went etc… She asks lots of questions.
2. Be genuinely positive of others. Make it a goal that with everyone you meet, that they will leave feeling better about themselves than before you met. This has to be genuine though.
I have some people tell me all the time “you are a good guy.” I also here these same people tell everyone else they talk to the same thing. It isn’t specific, and it isn’t genuine. Anything but being specific and genuine feels a little patronizing to me, how about you?
3. Practice the platinum rule. You have heard the golden rule “Do unto others as you want to be done to.” The Platinum rule is a little different, it says, “Do unto others as they want to be done to.”
I may think you like flowers because I like them, but they may only remind you of funerals. I might think you like to be recognized in front of the whole team, because I like to. But you might find it embarrassing and very uncomfortable.
In order to practice the platinum rule effectively you need to ensure you practice the first tip above and take an interest in people. Find out more about The Platinum Rule by reading the book The Platinum Rule: Discover the Four Basic Business Personalities and How They Can Lead You to Success.
What have you done to become more likable?
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