I realize that this post may be my most controversial post ever due to my sharpness. But I am going to say and post it any way. Most managers that lack the guts to provide honest feedback might very well be doing it because they are selfish, not because they care. I have heard many managers I have consulted with over the year say something like…

Managing people requires that we take into consideration their differences. Some of those you lead will need lots of direction, while others would prefer you leave them alone. Some will want more monetary rewards, while others prefer recognition or challenging assignments. Customers are much the same way. Providing generic customer service will get you generic customer satisfaction.

I am not sure if that memory has stuck in my mind because I thought putting a book down my pants before getting whacked would be a good idea or because of what his dad said. As a father before disciplining my own kids I have always tried to think “is this hurting me more than it is hurting them?” It’s a great litmus test for parents when disciplining their kids.

There is no training program that teaches it that I am aware of. The skills of strategic planning, organization, sharp decision making and delegation don’t require it. But yet the best leaders I have known possess it. What is it? Kindness. Is it a natural or learned skill that can be developed later in life? I don’t know. But one thing I do know is that kindness is necessary if a leader wants to be as effective as they can be.